


Admiring Dresses

by cinderfell



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Background Percy/Vex, Canon Bisexual Character, Female Friendship, Gen, Lesbian Character, Post-Chroma Conclave Timeskip, Sexuality Crisis, Vex is Cassandra's Closet Key
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 17:52:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11994936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderfell/pseuds/cinderfell
Summary: Cassandra is grateful for Vex'ahlia's presence for a variety of reasons, but none more so than her friendship.





	Admiring Dresses

**Author's Note:**

> for day one of rarepair week: a platonic relationship (although cass undeniably has a little bit of a crush LMAO).

It’s not something Cassandra thinks about, not really. How can she, when there’s been so much more to think about? She spends her time thinking about politics, about trade agreements, about the welfare of the city, and the latest proposals from the agricultural community representative on the council. And before that? Well, before that, she spent her time just trying to survive. **  
**

(And miraculously, somehow she succeeded. Parts of her died with the slaughter of her family, and more died with the Briarwoods themselves. But she’s breathing. Cassandra de Rolo is damaged but alive and she has a beating heart to prove it.)

That said, the problem with not thinking about something, Cass finds, is that it doesn’t make whatever you’re not thinking about go away.

Perhaps it’s best to start from the beginning.

She’s nine.

She sits cross-legged in her seat across from her mother, spinning her quill rapidly between her fingers as Johanna reads aloud to her from a book on etiquette, one more session in a long line of tutoring revolving around things she’ll need to learn when she comes of age and marries into another noble family.

She scowls at the thought.

“Cassandra, dear,” Johanna says, but not before finishing the passage she was reading, “if you keep making that face, it’ll stick that way.”

“I don’t understand why I have to do this,” she says, twisting the quill between her fingers even faster. “It’s dumb.”

Johanna snorts. “It’ll come in handy when you’re older. Believe me, I wish I’d known all of this when I was your age.”

Cassandra knows about her mother’s colorful history before becoming Lady de Rolo, of course. She knows Johanna was a commoner, one who got involved with thievery and other petty crimes to get by and, eventually, even became part of a group who attempted to ambush a much younger Frederick de Rolo in his carriage on his way through the Parchwood in order to rob him. As the story goes, Johanna had played the role of the poor injured girl in the middle of the road, meant to slow the carriage down directly where they wanted it. The plan hit the rocks almost immediately, as Frederick was genuinely very kind and concerned for her, even offering to let her ride into town for treatment with them. Struck with a sudden moral dilemma, Johanna had quietly warned the young lord of the ambush and even, apparently, fought off pursuing bandits. Very valiantly, too, if Frederick’s fond retellings were to be believed. Despite her initial intent to rob him blind, he’d been smitten with her from the moment she helped him escape.

There’s more to that story, of course, but Cassandra has always liked that part the best. She likes hearing stories of her mother’s days as a bandit, of her setting out to steal his possessions and stealing his heart instead.

She prefers those stories from her mother to the etiquette lessons.

Cassandra lets out a huff. “Why will it come in handy when I’m older, though? I don’t want to marry some dumb lord!”

Johanna regards her daughter over the etiquette book for a long moment. Then a small smile cracks across her face. She takes the bookmark in front of her on the table and tucks it between the page of the book and sets it down, leaning her chin on her hand. “I didn’t want to either when I was your age. You know what I wanted?”

Cass looks her over warily. “What?”

“To be the best bandit queen this side of Tal’dorei.”

“That sounds much better than getting married,” Cass says. “Me and all the other girls who don’t want to get married can just get a bunch of horses and be bandit queens together, and nobody will ever make us learn about stupid etiquette books and how we should or shouldn’t talk to an unmarried man.”

Johanna’s smile softens then, as does her expression, and her sharp gray eyes look her daughter over with something on her face that Cass can’t quite place. Finally, Johanna says, “If you still feel that way when you’re a bit older, perhaps we can forget that bandit part but look into learning about riding.”

A long pause. “Really?” Cassandra asks finally.

“Yes, really.” Then her mother picks up the book again and opens it up. “But for now, it won’t hurt for a future bandit queen to have basic etiquette.”

Cass groans.

* * *

Cassandra de Rolo does not, in fact, grow up to be a bandit queen. She doesn’t grow up to be a renowned horse rider either. Instead, she endures years of intense trauma and confinement in her own home, to the point where even after her captors have been dealt with and their bloody regime dismantled, it still makes her heart pound loudly in her head to even step outside of the castle’s familiar, confining walls.

Percival’s return to Whitestone is strange, just as his return to her life is. He isn’t quite there all the way, in either sense, and he brings along a new family of his own.

Among them is a woman who knocks the breath right out of Cassandra the moment she sees her.

Vex’ahlia might just be the coolest person Cassandra has ever met in her life, although because of her rather sheltered and limited life she’s not quite sure if that means much. There’s just something about the ranger, something that reminds Cassandra of the few novels in the library with women in the starring roles. She reminds Cassandra of Johanna’s stories of her youth, a quick-witted, quick-handed mercenary who wields charm as deadly as her blade. And, most peculiarly, Vex’ahlia reminds her of her childhood fantasies of a bandit queen, long-forgotten and now pulled to the light.

Percy, although he won’t outright say it to Cassandra’s face, is obviously smitten with her. And Cassandra? Well, Cassandra understands.

Vex’ahlia stays in Whitestone after the fall of the Cinder King and Cassandra couldn’t be more excited. She’s just drawn to the older woman, like a moth to flame, and Vex doesn’t seem to mind.

At first, Cass is timid. Vex is almost intimidating, projecting a sense of ease and self-confidence that Cassandra hopes she has even half of. Cass welcomes her to Whitestone, into the nobility, congratulates her on a Hunt well done.

But Vex’ahlia is timid too, although it takes Cassandra a while to realize. She’s timid about anything and everything about Whitestone, about her new position, her new home, her new _life_. In a strange way, Cass, despite living her entire life in Whitestone, relates to that sentiment in a way she can’t even begin to put into words. Vex frets over anything involving her role in Whitestone, sticking close to Percy whenever it comes up.

In a strange way, that brief glimpse of vulnerability from this woman-- well, Cassandra appreciates it. It makes Vex more approachable.

There’s a moment, though, where Cass can practically feel things shift for her.

It’s remarkably silly, really. It’s just a moment. A single, mundane moment.

“Cassandra,” Vex says one evening, having run into each other in the library and pausing to exchange pleasantries.

“Hmm?” Cass hums, shuffling her books under her arm.

“Do you have any books you’d recommend? I’d love to start reading through some of the ones here, but it’s a big library and I’m not quite sure where to start.”

Cass glances down at the books she holds, three of her favorites, and barely even hesitates to pick a blue one with ornate gold letters on the cover and hold it out to Vex. Vex appears a bit bewildered at the immediate response, but takes it from her anyways.

“If you like adventure stories and mystery stories, that’s a really good one,” Cass says eagerly. “Especially if you like reading about clever heroes who are women.”

“Why, Cassandra,” Vex says with a laugh, “that’s one of my favorite things to read about!”

“It’s a whole series, so if you enjoy that one I can point you in the direction of the rest of them!”

Vex’ahlia suddenly reaches out and takes Cass’s hand in hers and turns a wide, warm smile on her, and even through the gloves Vex wears the warmth of her fingers almost burns. “Thank you so much, darling. I’ll let you know what I think of it!”

And then Vex is gone, leaving Cassandra standing there, hand still outstretched.

Oh, Cassandra thinks. Oh.

And it’s not that she’s in love-- or at least, Cass doesn’t think so, she’s not quite sure what love or romance even feels like-- but suddenly she’s overwhelmed by the grace with which Vex moves, the way her brown eyes glimmer with intelligence and kindness, the easy way she flicks her braid off her neck; everything she does is elegant, right down to the bare basics. It’s not that she didn’t notice these things before, but now she’s almost… hyper-aware of it.

(And now she can’t help but notice it when other women walk by too which--)

Perhaps it’s the kindness that caught Cassandra's eye first when she met Vex. Because kindness has always been in short supply in Whitestone since the Briarwoods, especially directed towards her, but Vex is so considerate and accommodating and Cass isn’t quite sure what to do with that. Regardless of not being able to process it, it’s undeniable that Vex’ahlia’s beauty is more than just surface-deep.

And she’s not the only one who notices Vex’ahlia’s kind nature, and she doesn’t just mean Percival. Whitestone itself adores her. She hears a whisper from two maids about someone down in one of the taverns who ran their mouth about how Lady Vex’ahlia probably slept her way to nobility, it’s not like her romance with Percival is a secret or anything, and how that person came away with two black eyes, a broken rib, and a ban from not only that tavern but three others and various businesses. She was born a commoner and she still retains that common touch even now, getting along well with the townsfolk and _especially_ the hunters and trappers.

If an entire city can fall in love with her, Cassandra decides there must be something inherently good about her.

She understands how her brother could fall in love with this woman.

More than anything, however, she understands how her brother could fall in love with women… in general.

* * *

When Percy and Vex come to her two weeks before Winter’s Crest to bashfully tell her about their elopement the night before, she can’t really be surprised. If anything, she finds herself more amused. Percy’s always been impulsive, she’s known that since they were kids, but Vex tends to curb his more dangerous or stupid impulses. That said, over the months she’s spent befriending Vex’ahlia-- her sister-in-law, Cass thinks with a strange awe-- she’s learned that Vex isn’t short impulsive tendencies herself. Really, Cassandra’s surprised she didn’t see this coming.

“I’m sorry,” Vex says a little breathlessly, her cheeks a bit red as she stands hand in hand with Percy in front of Cass’s desk after they tell her what they just did. “We should’ve warned you beforehand-- we would’ve, except it was a spur of the moment thing, and, well-- just, sorry.”

“I’m not,” Percy says quietly, and Vex reaches up and smacks him lightly on the shoulder.

Cassandra snorts. She’s grown rather fond of seeing the two of them together. Vex makes her brother light up in a way that even his tinkering and books don’t, brings out a bit of light and softness to her brother’s often dark and rough personality. She likes the kind of person Vex makes Percy. Gods, she likes the warmth and light Vex brings to not just Percy, but to Cass herself, to Whitestone as a whole. Cassandra doesn’t have to think too hard to know that Whitestone would be a lot less enjoyable of a place without the little spark of hope Vex brings to it. And she’s grateful.

“Apology accepted,” Cass says, and then with a roll of her eyes adds, “Honestly, though, the entire city will riot when they find out they didn’t get to see Lady Vex all dressed up for her wedding day.”

“Oh, hush you,” Vex says with a laugh.

“This just means your wedding will be all the more memorable to the people,” Percy says, a wry grin creeping across his face.

Cass snorts. “I’m not quite sure I’m the marrying type, Percy.”

Percy gestures at himself. “And did you ever think I’d be the marrying type, Cass?”

She thinks back to her brother before the coup and considers the grumpy eighteen year old-- and fuck, she’s older than he was back then now, and she’s not sure how to feel about that-- who would isolate himself from his own family down in his workshop, more interested in his work and his books than people, much less romance. No, she decides, looking back she never would’ve pegged him for one to get married, much less to someone like Vex.

“Point,” she says.

But Vex is quiet now, regarding Cassandra with a curious expression. For a moment, Cass almost feels like she’s been analyzed.

And then Vex breaks it, shaking her head slightly and clapping her hands together. “Well, we have a council meeting in ten minutes, so I suppose we better figure out how to go about telling them about the elopement while also making sure the rest of our friends don’t find out so we can tell them ourselves.”

Cassandra laughs, still occupied by the look Vex gave her. “Good luck with that, you two.”

* * *

The Winter’s Crest Festival is beautiful, and Cass doubts she’ll ever stop being grateful for it after so many years without. Celebration pours into the streets and into the square, feasts and dancing circling around the Sun Tree as the people enjoy themselves.

Cassandra stands by herself on the balcony of a building overlooking the busy square, a half-eaten plate of food sitting on the small table beside where she is, leaning forward to look at the celebration. There are other people in the building, including her guards in the next room, but for the moment she’s found some peace to observe her people, and observe she does. Cass watches two ladies dance together, the soft skirts of their dresses mixing together in a swirl of cream and rose.

“People watching?”

The voice makes her jump, a slight heat creeping over her cheeks, feeling a bit like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t. When she glances over at where the voice came from, she relaxes immediately when she finds Vex sliding up next to her on the balcony with a warm expression and a glass in hand.

Cass reaches up and tucks a stray piece of white hair that’s fallen loose from her braided bun behind her ear. “I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m more of an observer at these types of events. At least, I am when I’m not giving toasts or speeches.”

Vex cracks a smile. “I’ll be honest, for as much as everyone likes to think I’m a people person, I prefer sitting back and just watching too.”

“I’ve noticed,” Cass says, and she has. Vex is good with people, of course, but she likes her quiet time too.

“Cassandra,” Vex says, and Cass raises an eyebrow. Ah, she figured the older woman had something to say to her. “I have a bit of a strange question for you.”

Cass smiles a little bit. “Many of your questions are strange, Lady Vex. Strange but enjoyable.”

Vex hums at that, glancing out at the square again to where the two women twirl together. “You can stop me if you want. I don’t mean to intrude if this becomes something you don’t want to share.”

“Go ahead, Vex,” she says.

“It’s just… something I’ve been thinking about since Percy and I came to you to tell you about us getting married.” Cassandra’s brows pull together in confusion. Wherever could this be going? “And that’s on top of some other things I’ve noticed since we’ve known each other. You said you didn’t think you were the marrying type.”

“Yes?” Cass says slowly.

“What I’m trying to ask, my dear, is if you’re opposed to marriage, or if you’re opposed to marrying a man?”

It’s like the air is suddenly sucked out of Cassandra’s lungs.

She turns to look at Vex, opens her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out, not even a breath. So instead she just stands there, looking at her sister-in-law helplessly.

Vex’s eyes go wide and she hastily says, “I’m so sorry, dear, I didn’t mean to startle you or-- or to sound accusatory.”

Hoarsely, Cassandra manages to get out, “It’s quite alright.”

Vex clears her throat, glancing around the square. “It’s just… you remind me of when I was your age.”

“I--” Cassandra starts, something to distance herself from the conversation, when it suddenly hits her what Vex just said. “What?”

A small smile appears on Vex’s face. “You know. People watching, admiring the, ah, dresses the ladies wear. Because nobody could fault you for admiring the dresses. Although, to be fair, my people watching experiences involved admiring both the dresses and the suits, so to say.”

Oh.

Cassandra licks her lips, suddenly feeling as if they’re very dry, like her entire mouth is dry as a desert. Quietly, she says, “I didn’t, um, know that.”

Vex shrugs. “You’d be surprised how many women admire dresses too, Cassandra.”

They’re quiet for a long time. The two of them watch the people dancing, talking. Cassandra lets her eyes settle on a woman about her age, one with dark hair and tawny skin smattered with freckles, wearing a mint green dress and a bright smile, and for once she doesn’t feel embarrassed to look while somebody’s next to her.

“When did you know?” Cass finally asks, breaking the silence.

Vex lets out a low, thoughtful hum. “I don’t know. Maybe when I was about eight? Nine? There was a girl in my village that all the boys liked, and they used to try to win her affections. I wanted her to like me too, so I gathered up flowers from around my mother’s house and brought them to her.” A sly smile crosses her face then, and she leans in a little closer to Cass. “Between you and me, I’m pretty sure she liked me more than any of those boys too.”

Despite herself, Cassandra giggles.

Vex pulls back again. “And I don’t know, there were a lot of other little things too. Girls my age would talk about getting married to princes and, well, sure I’d think about marrying princes too, but sometimes it would be a princess instead. And a lot of the time I’d find myself getting flustered around older girls because I thought they were pretty and cool.”

And she definitely isn’t imagining the amused, knowing look Vex is giving her now. Cassandra flushes but doesn’t turn away from her.

“What about you, Cass? Have you ever thought about it besides… well, besides just now?” Vex asks.

Before she can think or stop herself, Cass blurts out, “I wanted to be a bandit queen.”

Vex raises an eyebrow at her. “Come again?”

Cass clears her throat. “I, ah, wanted to gather up all the other girls who didn’t want to get married and become… well, bandit queens.”

Vex laughs suddenly, bright-eyed and reaching up to cover her mouth with the back of her hand. “That’s adorable!”

Bright red now, Cass looks back out into the sea of people. “I-- what you said before? About if I was opposed to marriage or to marrying a man?”

Vex’s laughter dies down. “Yes?”

“I’ve never thought about that.” And she hasn’t. Somehow she never even entertained the thought for a minute in all her years.

“Have you now?” Vex asks.

She’s quiet.

And then Cassandra thinks about it.

The very thought of being married has made her ill in the past. The idea of being tied to somebody for the rest of her life, of sharing a bed with someone, of-- well, of doing more than that with someone-- made her upset or nauseous whenever she thought about it. But now she changes it, just a little bit, changing the strange lord in her mind to a lady, and--

She doesn’t feel so ill thinking about marriage.

In fact, a soft warmth begins to stir in her chest, her cheeks heating up at the thought of waking up in bed besides her-- her _wife_ , of all the little things she’d rebuked in the past, and--

“Cass?” Vex quietly says, bringing her back to the present.

Cassandra clears her throat. “I do believe I’m not entirely opposed to the idea of marriage, on further introspection.” She clears her throat again and, wow, suddenly she needs a damn drink. Almost as if she senses this, Vex offers her the glass of white wine she’s been sipping from. Cass takes it from her with a shaky hand, taking a big, unladylike drink from it, which makes Vex chuckle.

After she swallows, Cass says, very quietly, “Thank you, Lady Vex.”

A small, fond smile lights up the older woman’s face. “You’re welcome, Lady Cass.”

The two of them stand there out on the balcony for a long time, quietly admiring dresses together.


End file.
